the intrigued mind of a cat

Here I am, wide awake at 3.50 a.m Sydney time, waiting for the uploading process of my 80mb video in YouTube. The estimated time was on 46:21 remaining. yeah. Meaning: another 46 minutes and 21 seconds to kill. SO I thought, “Hey why don’t I write something on my abandoned blog!” yep, I have to admit, I got some commitment problems. Once I said to myself to post anything in my blog every single day. I guess it will always sit nicely in my New Year’s Resolution list every year.

What am I doing in Sydney?

It was my escapade. After few years of working nonstop and unethically right for my body and soul, I decided to cut it off and take a month break from anything. That was my initial plan, but after a brief consideration, I had to make some amendments; take a month break from anything, except my boyfriend.

I had planned for this trip since last year when everything seemed to be okay with my job, my finance, and my future. Until I knew I was retrenched, I thought I had to drop this vacation plan and start looking for a job. Not more than a week, I found a new one. A FAR bigger advertising company (than my previous one) and promising career as an Art Director was on my path. They said they will hire me as a freelance for a month of probation then if they liked me, they’ll hire me. So I worked hard to get in. Came early, stayed late. Worked till 3 a.m in the morning without complaining… okay, maybe once or twice.. or thrice.

A month passed, they said they’ll extend. I was thrilled. I worked hard to get in. Came not so early, stayed late. Worked till 3 a.m in the morning without complaining. Until I heard some stories from my co-workers. They were in my shoes once. Some of them have worked for more than 2 years, some for 6 months, yet they are still “under probation”. Haven’t been confirmed yet as a full-time, unlike what the company had promised before. I started to think and doubtful about them, also about my dream. IS this the kind of life that I REALLY want?

I remembered when I was still in college, young and naive. I dreamt to be the next top woman Creative Director in Advertising, as there weren’t so many women had achieved that capacity in Asia.

But when I started to work, the reality hit me. I saw many people who are in their 30-50s still earning few thousand bucks, been in the same position for years, working like a labour, having no time to enjoy their life (or even their weekends).

My CD always said to me, “…that’s what you have to do to get to my position now.” and I used to buy that.

So I worked like shit and treated like shit (by my bitchy production manager), and I thought it was okay and normal. But I wasn’t happy. I liked the job and the people. Not the lifestyle. I stopped going to gym, my face was full of stress pimples, I lost weight, and had constant back pain.

So one day, I realized something was wrong and I made a quick U-TURN…

I resigned.

I want to go somewhere else, trying other interest, exploring the world, and eventually finding myself ‘home’.

It just happened my boyfriend had a job to do in Sydney and I’ve planned for this trip since last year before I got retrenched..

Could you not tell that everything seemed to be perfectly planned by God? He works way beyond our thoughts, beyond everything that we could imagine..

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1. travel around the world
2. sky diving/bungee jumping
3. see my grandchildren.

Three Names You Go By:
1. Renee
2. Nenek
3. Kutu

Three Screen Names You Have Had:
1. arnion
2. bubblr
3. nee

Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:
1. my butt 
2. my small lips + small eyes
3. my smile

Three Parts Of Your Heritage:
1. Chinese
2. Indonesian
3. Heaven

Three Things That Scare You:
1. deadlines 
2. dead brain
3. being forgotten

Three Of Your Everyday Essentials:
1. Prayers
2. Internet
3. iPhone

Three Of Your Favorite Bands/Musical Artists:
1. Eartha Kitt
2. Diana Krall
3. Mocca

Three Of Your Favorite Songs:
1. Someone like you- Van Morisson
2. Close to you- Carpenters
3. I wish you love- Rachael Yamagata

Three Things You Want In A Relationship:
1. Trust
2. Understanding and patient
3. Adaptability

Three Physical Things About The Preferred Sex That Appeal To You:
1. Eyes
2. Smile
3. Shoulder

Three Of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Daydreaming 
2. Observing people
3. Watching movies

Three Things You Want To Do Really Badly Right Now:
1. to ride a roller coaster
2. to find big ideas / inspiration
3. to purchase an air ticket to Jakarta and meet my bestfriends.

Three Careers You’re Considering/You’ve Considered:
1. art director
2. activist/philantrophist

3. tai tai?

Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation:
1. Maldives
2. Tokyo
3. Paris

Three Kid’s Names You Like:
1. Chloe
2. Gucci
3. Prada

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Girl.
1. I secretly love chessy pick-up lines.
2. I love flowers, gifts, and surprises.
3. I want to be married one day and let my husband be the breadwinner and pays for my credit card bill ;P

Written By Regina Brett, 50 years old, journalist at The Plain Dealer,
Cleveland, Ohio.

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here’s an update:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God
never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.. But the second one
is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no
for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will
this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did
or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s,we’d
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

Still awake. Got nothing to do.

too tired to watch DVDs.

too hungry to sleep.

too guilty to eat.

too lazy to do housework.

too dark to read books.

too occupied thinking of excuses for not doing what I suppose to be doing.

.

.

sigh.

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I feel lost. feel empty. feel nothing.

My fingers are moving by themselves as if they weren’t controlled by my brain.

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see what happens if your brain isn’t working.

you’ll die.

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ok I just talked nonsense. sorry for wasting your time reading this. I’ve warned you. (read the little note under my blog’s title)